alchemy_of_yaoi (alchemy_of_yaoi) wrote,
alchemy_of_yaoi
alchemy_of_yaoi

Comfort and Joy

I've had this embarrassing-named LJ for almost 6 years by next month. I've always wanted to change it. I have the money for it. I can do it, but I won't.

My roommate commented about me saying "You're a person of habit and comfort."

We've only been roommates for about 7 weeks. I took her words as her saying that I would only do things that I'm used to doing things that I'm used to and how I'm used to it. It also made me consider and realize how I am such an unchanging person.

There was a student in my senior seminar class who shared his interests concerning out Asian-themed seminar with him saying how he used to be into Japanese culture but has now leaned more towards Chinese culture. My professor commented positively against the student's uncertainty because he said how change is good, and how no one should be into all the same things for too long since varying interests make you a better person. He said that people need change to survive.

I feel like I've been the same person since I was 14. I still rely on the same people over and over for the same things. I still think I will be treated the same. But, being who I have been since then is all I've known. And, I admit, it kind of scares me when I see so many people around me truly growing up, moving on new and different paths in their lives and maturity, and leaving me behind. I feel like I can't talk to others the same way I used to since there can be nothing in common with shared feelings we can talk about anymore. I feel like it could take a lot for me to change even the slightest thing for me.

I've been telling myself that it's okay. That, people can do what they want to do. I especially can't ask them to be what they used to. I guess I can only be concerned for myself. I don't want to be left behind. I know I need to change to survive.

EDIT: I am currently 21 years-old...
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